It pains me to say it but this year is continuing to suck. From a personal point of view, it's definitely had its highs and lows, but increasingly the lows seem lower and the highs less plentiful. My mental health has been doing a number on me since the start of the year, and I'm sick and tired of it. Working from home has really highlighted how much I hate the commute I was doing before lockdown and means that, between the two of them, I'm going to have start looking for a more local, and more satisfying job.
Last week, my cat Jinx went missing and he's still absent. A black cat's body was found under a car and the people who found it put it over the fence by the railway embankment (to explain, we live on the other side of the road from a railway line). Consequently, we have no idea if Jinx is still in the land of the living, and its eating away at me, though I suspect he probably has gone to the City of Cats. I feel really sad about it and, even though I know I wasn't responsible for his death, guilty.
On top of that, and I by no means mean that this is a bad thing, my partner and I have seen a household double with her son and his baby daughter coming to live with us. It wasn't planned, but happened as a result of his relationship breaking up. While he's a nice guy, and the baby is very sweet (I don't know I can say anything more than that, mostly because what I know about babies would fit onto a postcard), its caused a lot of disruption, and stress.
That's before we even get onto the world, with all its stupidity and the return of humanity's favourite occupation: screaming at each other over every little thing. I don't mean to denigrate what's happening in America, or to say it's not just (even if I do think there's a level of social irresponsibility in protesting during a pandemic). It's just that it feels so damn wearisome, and I'm angry that we're still dragging this crap around without resolving it (and that should have happened decades ago). What I truly dislike, however, is the way that this just boils down to people screaming at each other and trying to bully other people into supporting their cause, coupled with a snowball effect where more and more responsibilities are thrust onto your shoulders. I find it particularly egregious when you consider that other matters, like the Sixth Extinction, are still happening, and yet most of us are silent about that. I guess this is a sign that humans really only care about other humans and the rest of the world, and its inhabitants, can go take a running jump.
This has led, in the crudest terms to me withdrawing from the world, a little. I've decided to damn the world and focus on my friends, and to work instead of browse. Part of that is trying to pick this blog up again and talk about the things that matter to me, in the hopes of being heard. It feels odd to talk about plans while I'm really just venting about how crap everything seems, but I do want to put some pages about the climate crisis, mental health, and modern slavery up on here, though they may just consist of links to other places on the Internet. I believe these are urgent matters, in need of having a great deal more scrutiny, and action taken on them.
And I might talk about Chap-hop a bit, because for reasons I can't entirely fathom, I've become quite fond of Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer...
In the past few days, I've quit Twitter, which means that I'm now only active on Linked In, on the social media front (unless this place counts). I've just reached a point where I no longer want to be active on anything like that, I don't know see the value of that sort of site, really. Too often they seem like playgrounds where gangs of posters hang out together, and if you're not 'cool', then get used to being ignored. I'm tired too of the way that Twitter, in particular, gets seized by fashions and suddenly a crap joke, or a particular cause is being boosted so much there's no escape from it. It only reinforces the feeling of cliques sitting around being exclusionary, and I've just grown tired of the whole experience. The cons by far outweigh the pros, as far as I'm concerned.
But then, a lot of the world seems to be like that, full of things that aren't really worth the effort (though of course Sturgeon's Law will always apply), and where fads and fashions only really seem to benefit one set of people, those in power. The rest of us are just the fools who buy them, giving our money away for stuff that's not worth it (and as I get older, less and less seems to be worth what we're asked to pay, be that in money, energy, or time).
Anyway, that's where I am at the moment, standing on the outside, as usual, wondering what the hell is wrong with the rest of you, while at the same time I worry that I'm nothing more than a freak. Situation Normal, All F***** Up, in other words.
Last week, my cat Jinx went missing and he's still absent. A black cat's body was found under a car and the people who found it put it over the fence by the railway embankment (to explain, we live on the other side of the road from a railway line). Consequently, we have no idea if Jinx is still in the land of the living, and its eating away at me, though I suspect he probably has gone to the City of Cats. I feel really sad about it and, even though I know I wasn't responsible for his death, guilty.
On top of that, and I by no means mean that this is a bad thing, my partner and I have seen a household double with her son and his baby daughter coming to live with us. It wasn't planned, but happened as a result of his relationship breaking up. While he's a nice guy, and the baby is very sweet (I don't know I can say anything more than that, mostly because what I know about babies would fit onto a postcard), its caused a lot of disruption, and stress.
That's before we even get onto the world, with all its stupidity and the return of humanity's favourite occupation: screaming at each other over every little thing. I don't mean to denigrate what's happening in America, or to say it's not just (even if I do think there's a level of social irresponsibility in protesting during a pandemic). It's just that it feels so damn wearisome, and I'm angry that we're still dragging this crap around without resolving it (and that should have happened decades ago). What I truly dislike, however, is the way that this just boils down to people screaming at each other and trying to bully other people into supporting their cause, coupled with a snowball effect where more and more responsibilities are thrust onto your shoulders. I find it particularly egregious when you consider that other matters, like the Sixth Extinction, are still happening, and yet most of us are silent about that. I guess this is a sign that humans really only care about other humans and the rest of the world, and its inhabitants, can go take a running jump.
This has led, in the crudest terms to me withdrawing from the world, a little. I've decided to damn the world and focus on my friends, and to work instead of browse. Part of that is trying to pick this blog up again and talk about the things that matter to me, in the hopes of being heard. It feels odd to talk about plans while I'm really just venting about how crap everything seems, but I do want to put some pages about the climate crisis, mental health, and modern slavery up on here, though they may just consist of links to other places on the Internet. I believe these are urgent matters, in need of having a great deal more scrutiny, and action taken on them.
And I might talk about Chap-hop a bit, because for reasons I can't entirely fathom, I've become quite fond of Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer...
In the past few days, I've quit Twitter, which means that I'm now only active on Linked In, on the social media front (unless this place counts). I've just reached a point where I no longer want to be active on anything like that, I don't know see the value of that sort of site, really. Too often they seem like playgrounds where gangs of posters hang out together, and if you're not 'cool', then get used to being ignored. I'm tired too of the way that Twitter, in particular, gets seized by fashions and suddenly a crap joke, or a particular cause is being boosted so much there's no escape from it. It only reinforces the feeling of cliques sitting around being exclusionary, and I've just grown tired of the whole experience. The cons by far outweigh the pros, as far as I'm concerned.
But then, a lot of the world seems to be like that, full of things that aren't really worth the effort (though of course Sturgeon's Law will always apply), and where fads and fashions only really seem to benefit one set of people, those in power. The rest of us are just the fools who buy them, giving our money away for stuff that's not worth it (and as I get older, less and less seems to be worth what we're asked to pay, be that in money, energy, or time).
Anyway, that's where I am at the moment, standing on the outside, as usual, wondering what the hell is wrong with the rest of you, while at the same time I worry that I'm nothing more than a freak. Situation Normal, All F***** Up, in other words.
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