Like many people in the UK, I was raised a Christian, but unlike many people - for whom it seems the faith sort of ebbs to a low level of 'acceptable bullshit' to be considered only at Christmas and Easter, or for weddings, funerals, and baptism, I confess I have a strong dislike for it. Part of that was that I came to reject monotheism as a result of my upbringing - having a single deity that's responsible for everything seems ridiculous to me, especially when you look at the number of Saints - the Christian God isn't ruling alone, he just has a large bureaucracy. He's basically the CEO who claims all the credit for his subordinates' work. In addition, owing to other elements in my childhood, I came to reject male authority, and I still struggle with it at times. The idea that the central, and according to my parents the only real, authority, was male coded did little to endear the faith to me. I should stress that I was raised in a broad church Church of England parish, and though I attended a Catholic school, I wasn't sexually abused in any way.
Most recently, the thing that's earned my ire came from a conversation with my mother who attributed anxiety to "dark forces" that make one doubt oneself. Now, I make no secret of my history of mental health issues. I have depression and anxiety and suspect that I also have an element of PTSD. I attribute a lot of this to the verbal abuse I received as a child from my father, and to the bullying other children "gifted" me with at school. Apparently, I first exhibited signs of depression at the age of 9, but as that was in the 1980s nothing was done apart from to move me to a different school. Don't get me wrong, I was very lucky to be able to move schools, and I am blessed in the fact that my mental health difficulties are limited to the things that I mentioned above. I'm also blessed that the cause of them are "only" verbal abuse, bullying, and childhood emotional neglect from both my parents. Admittedly, now that I'm in my 40s I'm also pretty steamed that my parents haven't once encouraged me to use my strengths, only my weaknesses, in life but at that point I acknowledge that they were abused and neglected and it probably isn't something they're actually capable of doing. Man hands down misery to man and all that stuff.
The first thing that irks me about this idea that "dark forces" are responsible for mental health issues is that it ignores the impact of abuse, of whatever sort, and blames the victim for the problems they have. It implies that people who have been through trauma are suffering because they don't believe enough or don't pray enough, placing the responsibility on their shoulders. I find that abhorrent because it makes no attempt to understand the issues that caused the mental health issues in the first place as well as blaming people who are already suffering for the problems they encounter. It seems a long way away from the compassionate religion Christianity purports today - in fact it's almost Mediaeval in it's approach to mental health. In fact, this confusion of mental health with "spiritual warfare" not only dismisses mental health as a legitimate concern but plays into a dangerous situation where it shouldn't be treated as a medical problem but by compounding the trauma through things like exorcisms. Again I don't believe that's helpful.
The other element is that I ask myself how this situation is just. If you're blaming the trauma on the people suffering it then it stands to reason you're not looking for what caused that trauma. That means you're letting somebody off and creating a situation where predators can thrive. We already know about the problems besetting the Catholic Church where their own predators are concerned - that's a scandal that seems to repeat itself with alarming regularity and has done a worryingly large amount of damage to innocent people. While I can understand that for many Christians its natural to believe that the guilty will be judged after death to the rest of us it looks like a not so benign neglect and as if the people on the sharp end aren't just being failed by the church that has enabled their abuse but by a creed that says that suffering is necessary to enter the Kingdom of God. Again, this seems to suggest that neglecting mental health problems is a necessary thing rather than embracing the idea that as living beings we all deserve care and attention. It feels a little like therapist Kati Morton's video on "problematic" words which highlights that we all deserve attention and to be listened to but that frequently that's ignored. It feels to me as if this attitude runs all the way through Christianity with its focus on authority descending from the top. It fits with patriarchy and the way that the wants and needs of old men are given priority over the rest of us.
The whole situation is sad and infuriating. It feels deeply unfair and as if it can only be added to the inhumanity the Christian faith has come to embody. Yes, it manages to feed the hungry and clothe the poor, but the fact that it defines want in such basic terms feels to me as if it is caught in the past and it needs to go back to brass tacks. I'm sure many individual churches do, in the same way there are ministries that welcome LGBTQQIAA people. I just wish that instead of focusing on the idea of faith being the cure to all problems the religion was trying to get more of it's followers into therapy, to actually address the issues plaguing them. At present, when we consider that we were seeing a spike in diagnoses of depression and anxiety even before the pandemic (some stats), it feels as if the faith's response to something like a broken leg should be to "pray" not to see a Doctor. This doesn't help and needs to change, as our general attitudes towards mental health do.
That's pretty much all I have to say, but I want to end this on a more positive note. If you've come here because you have mental health issues then I want to say that you are enough, you are valid, and you are needed here. I also want to encourage you to get the help you need, if you're ready to do that, and to say that you are worthy of that help. Whatever happened to you in the past, it wasn't your fault and it's okay to forgive yourself for what happened. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but I know I blamed myself for what happened to me and I know it's a pretty common thing.
If you're a Christian who's stopped by... what can I say? I'm not a fellow traveller, I don't embrace your creed, and I think there are some serious issues within your faith that current politics really aren't helping. I want to ask you to be part of the change the world needs. To set aside the ball and chain your faith is pulling behind it, and embrace the things we're learning about mental health. Seek justice and realise that the circumstances that create these often debilitating conditions don't come from nowhere. I know that's hard to hear that, but it's true. Please, be kind.
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