Shores of Night

 So, I just pulled back from the social media site I was on, and from a couple of sites, I comment on (Bleeding Cool and the Guardian). I've been feeling overwhelmed by negativity and it's a constant thing. It feels as if no matter how much I try to be optimistic these things rise up in the form of back-biting, stupid arguments, and so on. It makes me despair of humanity, and what's worse it makes me feel like I'm trapped in a recurrent pattern where even though I know it's not good for me, I keep going back in hoping that things will be different this time. Like everyone, I'm looking for connection and a feeling of belonging, and sadly these sites don't provide me with it.  So I guess I'm going to be stepping away for longer and trying to find new ways to meet people - and focusing on the real world more. I suppose, ironically, that means I won't be stopping using Meetup, even though that's a social media site like all the rest. The goal though ...

 Sorry, I really am poor at putting things on this site and I do need to get a regular schedule.  Work is hella busy at the moment (and for some reason I've started saying "hella") but I've also managed to get a story into the 96th of october  - which will be published on the 1st of March.  So, that's good. I got my PhD application in for the university I work at this month, and I've been working on the novel I'm writing. My Vampire game is going well, too.  Lastly, here's a picture of me.  Have a lovely weekend, lovelies. Take care of yourselves. 

 Good morning,  I just wanted to say Happy New Year (rather belated I know, so please forgive me), but also to say have a good week, full of joy and purpose if you can. You are enough and your feelings are valid. 

 Just a quick note to wish the handful of readers I have a Happy Yuletide, a Merry Christmas, a Peaceful Hanukkah, and a Harmonious Kwanza. Please add my best wishes for any celebrations I've missed.  I wish you a happy, contented, and fulfilling New Year and all the best for 2023. 

 

 Sorry for the short silence. I got caught up in the day job, and the weekend before last, went up to house sit for one of my exes in Wolverhampton. It was a pleasant weekend, though sadly a couple of friends I'd hoped to catch up with weren't available. I saw my ex's daughter and granddaughters, which was lovely. I also saw lots of the chihuahua and Manx cat (and apparently I have allergies to one or both of them, which sucks), who basically superglued themselves to me while I was there. I also met a new kitten, who was charming. I got some work done for my PhD stuff - at least in the sense of now knowing I don't want to reference  Marie de France's  work in my research - which means focusing on Charles Perrault's stories and got some basic research done for the divorce which I have to get rolling. I feel I'm ready to do that now, and to move onto something new, though I'm also scared of what the process is going to be like.  I have to admit, by Sunday ...

Recently I've embraced the idea of going slowly. I suppose its partly a reaction to a world that seems to move ever faster, almost to the point that nothing matters except the speed that things get done. There's probably an element of getting older in it too - it feels as if fast all too often equals corners being cut or the thing concerned not really being worth it if there's not waiting involved.  One area in particular that I want to go slowly is in dating. Part of that's because I'm conscious I have to get divorced, but also that I have attachment issues. I tend to fall in love, or perhaps just become infatuated, very easily and that works against my better judgement. As a consequence, I'm telling myself that I have to go slow and just start with meeting with someone to have cups of tea and go book shopping with. Maybe with a side thing of going for walks and wandering through graveyards (because they're beautiful). I want to be someone's friend who ...